I have never thought of myself as a hard worker. It doesn’t interest me. Working smarter?  Brilliant – I’ll take efficiency every time. Working when I am engaged in something with purpose and value? I’ll smash that. Knowing that I am on a deadline? OK, I’ll step up to that too.

But working hard for the sake of working hard? Where does that come from? Why should I think more of myself because I am working hard?

It was this conversation that got me questioning myself. It’s full of people applauding the sentiment of ‘Work Hard’. Am I just weird or deficient, I pondered?

Or is this a self selecting group of people brought up by parents who instilled ‘Work hard’ or ‘Try Hard’ as a value system? Have they seen their raison d’être on a poster and been drawn in?

‘Try Hard’ is one of the main personality drivers in life that some of us inherit. 

Drivers are often things that we are taught to associate our self-worth with, usually by our parents. As long as we meet those requirements, we are a ‘valuable’ person. If they valued hard work, for example, then we learned that we could get their approval by working hard.

For some people their primary personality driver is perfectionism, for others it is about being strong (that’s mine), for some it is about moving fast and maximising their time (which can show up as a ‘work hard’ ethic too), for many it is about pleasing other people and for some it is about working/trying hard. 

The work/try hard driver is ruled by the motto that it is the effort that matters. People with this driver feel OK when they work very hard, whether they actually accomplish something or not. At least they tried. The underlying thinking is often:

• I cannot refuse requests. I must at least try.
• I must improve and always get better.
• Wherever I am is not good enough.

Obviously there are potential benefits in terms of productivity. They always give their utmost in all situations. They show persistence in difficult and time-consuming situations. They are often willing to help others and like working toward noble causes.

People value their motivation and the way they have of getting things off the ground. They’re often popular with other colleagues, with customers or clients, because of their enthusiastic approach to problem solving. 

But, as with all drivers where our self-worth is linked, it can have a dark side too. They have a tendency to make things complicated and to lose themselves in details instead of seeing the broad outlines. 

There can also be a level of stress caused by thinking that they are not working hard enough, which can interfere with self-care and relationships.

They will often crave recognition for their hard work (because their self-worth is linked to it), but may not be satisfied when it is given because maybe they could have worked harder. 

They often find criticism very hurtful, especially for not trying enough or not considering others. Again, that criticism goes right to the heart of their value as a person.

There is a significant risk of burn-out because they will just keep going at the work until they drop. 

Oddly, they may have a fear of completion because it signals running out of things to try and to do!

And as we saw in that conversation, they will often expect other people to have the same value system and may (secretly or openly) feel highly critical of people who don’t see the world the same way.

Does this sound like you? Who do you know who thinks like this?

Anyway, after the realisation that it was more about a specific personality driver I could relax; I wasn’t deficient in some way because I don’t value the ‘work hard’ ethic.

Because if I had a weakness like that, it would really go against my ‘Be Strong And Show No Weakness’ personality driver. 🙂