You’ve probably heard of toxic positivity, but what about toxic productivity? Yes, that’s a thing too.
It’s when our drive to be busy takes over and we lose sight of what really matters to us.
Do you feel a need to fill every moment of your day?
Do you feel guilty if you aren’t being productive?
The ‘Be Busy’ or ‘Hurry Up’ Driver
Many of us are driven to be constantly busy, to get things done, to ‘hurry up‘. We start valuing the quantity of work over its quality. We get into a mindset of “I must be productive” and we feel guilty if we aren’t constantly working. We seek to complete tasks as fast as possible so that we can move on to the next one.
We get a buzz from completing tasks in the shortest possible time, and seek to shave even a few seconds from a job. We are great at juggling multiple tasks and meeting deadlines. We love a deadline.
The urge to save time may be inappropriately applied to everything we do, instead of being reserved for those tasks where it will make a real difference. Our home life, our holidays, our nights out can become tick box lists and efficiency exercises.
Our ability to think fast will often lead us to appear impatient and frustrated with others as we finish their sentences to speed things up, assume what they are going to say, or even assume that they have already said it and simply move on!
‘Hurry Up’ versus Resilience
When we don’t take time out to relax, our cortisol (stress) levels remain constantly high. This can lead to emotional burnout and can also have a serious negative impact on our physical health. Our physical and mental resilience suffers.
We are often late for appointments, and we may also be impatient with others. This damages our social resilience as friends and partners become frustrated with us and we neglect them.
We may also be more prone to accidents and mistakes because everything is done in a rush.
‘Hurry Up’ and ‘Be Busy’ Thoughts:
Here is how a ‘Hurry Up’ driver presents itself in our thought:
- “I have to get this done as quickly as possible”
- “I need to be as efficient as possible”
- “I hate wasting time achieving nothing”
- “You don’t get things done by sitting around thinking about them”
Where Does It Come From?
Picture a parent walking rapidly down the street, with a small child struggling to keep up behind them. “Hurry up, stop dawdling” berates the parent, “we musn’t be late”.
That pretty much sums it up – we get taught from an early age that we are only lovable when we are achieving things, that people (our parents) value us for productivity and that deadlines are an opportunity to prove ourselves.
The ‘hurry up’ driver, like all personality drivers, originates in childhood. It can be from parental pressure to succeed, perhaps filling up our days with extracurricular activities, piano lessons, sports, tutoring, and so on.
Society and social media also play a role, with the constant pressure to be productive and achieve more. We learn to attach our self-worth to our productivity.
Amazing At Getting Things Done
People with a ‘Hurry Up’ driver are often amazing at getting things done. They are efficient, productive, and always on the go. They are often high achievers and love working to deadlines.
They are action-oriented and enthusiastic, especially when it’s a tight but achievable target and there are opportunities to make things more efficient.
Fear of Quiet Time
That need to be ever-productive can have a dark side for us too though. People with a ‘Hurry Up’ driver often fear quiet time and we may find ourselves watching the clock all the time.
We feel genuinely guilty if we aren’t being productive, that we are wasting time and are therefore a bad person. It makes it almost impossible to relax in the way that others do.
We may feel like we are lazy if we aren’t constantly working; that constant buzzing in our head is berating us for wasting an opportunity to tick something else off the list.
Productivity as an Addiction
Sometimes we can develop an obsession with productivity, and it becomes an addiction. We simply cannot stop.
The problem is that there are no social downsides to being ‘productive’ – it’s a constant reward system as we tick off tasks. Tick, tick, tick. I am a worthy person.
It can feel like a socially acceptable addiction. No one is going to judge you for getting more done. In fact, they are constantly telling you how much you get done and admiring how busy you are (at least in your head).
But other people probably also see the chaos – the lateness, the frenzy, the accidents, the burnout.
Prioritize Self-Care
When we are always focused on completing tasks, our mental and physical health often gets relegated to an after-thought. If we can think of self care as one of our tasks, then we can justify spending the time on it.
We have to make ‘time out’ a task to achieve, in order to make it happen.
Establish Boundaries to avoid Task-Creep
Task-creep is when our work starts to expand to fill up every available space in our life. Every new task that comes in simply gets added to our mental in-tray because we never say no.
This starts to matter more when our home life, relationships and parenting suffer. When we lose family time to work, our relationship becomes an inconvenience and our health starts to take a back seat…. that’s when we know that the task-creep is getting out of hand.
By establishing healthy boundaries, we can somewhat prevent this. We have to set golden rules that cannot be breached, such as:
- No work at home. Ever.
- Kids come first
- Never do another task while I am with the kids. Stay present.
Obviously you can choose your own rules; you will know where you put work ahead of things that you value.
The main point is that we cannot allow a rule to be breached because once it is, we will start making more and more exceptions. You will always be able to justify multitasking or fitting one more thing in; your boundaries, the golden rules, are there to protect the people around you from your addiction.
Realistic Time Management
How often do you say “I will be there in five minutes” only to discover that it is closer to half an hour?
People with a ‘Hurry Up’ driver constantly underestimate the amount of time something may take because we are used to being able to make things more efficient and fit things in. But we can’t make traffic faster. We can’t make kids get ready for school any faster. And we can’t magically make those meetings shorter.
The result is that we are often late for meetings and then have to leave early to make the next meeting. Even when we are there, we end up barely paying attention because we are thinking about the next meeting.
To tackle this, assume that you are about to underestimate how long something will take and practice allowing more time deliberately. Try adding 20 minutes to everything.
It will feel inefficient, but will actually allow you to get there on time, be more present (less clock watching) and be less disrespectful to other people who are in the same meeting.
Time Trading
We get into the habit of saying yes to everything and working out how to fit it in later. Time Trading is recognising when your diary is full and not saying yes to something new unless you remove something else.
We trade time for time.
It’s about not letting the little efficiency demon in your head convince you that you can fit something else in when your diary tells you that you can’t.
Taking Pleasure In The Moment
Because we are always thinking about the next task, people with a ‘Hurry Up’ driver often forget to take pleasure in the moment. Practicing mindfulness can help us to slow down and appreciate the present moment.
Mindfulness, and being present, is perhaps the single most beneficial thing that we can do to overcome the negative effects of the ‘Hurry Up’ driver.
It can often feel like life is slipping away when we are so focused on achieving things, which is ironic because the driver is all about achieving more.
The issue is that the focus is on achieving, rather than experiencing.
By focusing more on truly experiencing the things we are doing, we can experience more life.
How To Talk To A ‘Hurry Up’ Person
There are two main messages that ‘Hurry Up’ people need to hear:
- “It is OK to relax“
- “It is OK to take time out to think“.
However, remember that they will be more receptive to these messages if they are delivered in a positive way. For example, instead of saying “You need to relax“, try saying “You’ve achieved so much, I think you would benefit from taking some time out to relax“.
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